Why I Love Getting Spanked

Image source: Louis Malteste

I’ve been in possession of a spanking fetish for as long as I can remember. This isn’t something I chose and it’s more of a need than a want. It feels like an important piece is missing from life’s puzzle when I have no one safe to do it with. For me and others like me, spanking isn’t just a kink, but an orientation. A love language, if you will. 

The ‘why’ has been difficult for some people to understand at times, which I get. Even consensual spanking looks like violence from the outside. I’ve had people assume I like it because it makes me orgasm or that I yearn to be “put in my place,” neither of which are true. Those of us with this fetish all love it for different reasons and in this post, I’ll tell you about some of mine.     

Spanking quiets my mind.

My thoughts are loud and rapid at times. Even when I sleep, I have complicated dreams. In my 40 years on earth, the two most effective paths to quieting my mind have been deep meditation and getting my butt smacked for extended periods. Pain makes it difficult for my thoughts to wander too far and superfluous concerns are quenched by the intimate drama of the moment. It’s bliss. 

Spanking allows me to give away control.

Let’s be very real: adulting is exhausting. I’m an independent business owner and handle everything myself. In my everyday “vanilla” work with clients, I wear the hats of project manager, interviewer, ghostwriter, editor, proofreader, marketing specialist, graphic designer, social media blah blah blah blah. Love my career, but I also crave the sexy moments when someone else takes charge of me for a while.

Spanking helps me let go.

When I was younger, anxiety ruled my life. Panic attacks were a frequent thing until I figured out how to get a hold on my mental health. Things are better now, but I’m still prone to stress and spanking provides a relaxing outlet. My whole body fights the ritual as it begins but once it’s finally over, every wisp of tension melts away. Makes me sleep like a baby.   

Spanking creates intimacy.

Having another person take your clothes off, hold you down, and hit you there while you squirm entails a great deal of physical and emotional vulnerability. My play partners see a part of me I don’t show to other people—the part that allows them to overpower and boss me around. When I find people I can trust not only to fulfill this need safely, but also understand and relate to the complicated feelings behind it, it creates a type of closeness I have yet to encounter elsewhere.  

Spanking turns me on.

Sigmund Freud theorized that when someone’s mind develops a sexual fetish, the attraction to genitalia is displaced onto a particular body part, object, or act. I’m no expert on these things, but I do know my body doesn’t experience true arousal unless I’m thinking about spanking or the potential for it to happen. I’ve never had trouble identifying what pushes that button in my brain. (Push push push push!)

Spanking thrills me. 

It may seem silly, but I still find spanking to be one of humanity’s most scandalous behaviors. I still get butterflies before it happens to me and can hardly believe the power of its impact on my mind, body, and spirit. It makes me feel fully alive and deeply human. It scratches the existential itch at the center of my psyche and connects me with the most primal aspects of my nature. This is all endlessly exciting. 

Spanking gets me high.

We masochistic types relish the rush of endorphins released during a spanking, which often creates a euphoric state that can raise our pain tolerance temporarily. After a few minutes, the intensity of the pain levels out for me and from that point on, I can keep going and going and going, hypnotized by my partner’s rhythm. It’s a drug.   

Spanking is romantic. 

I’m attracted to calm, chivalrous men who spank with a firm hand in the bedroom. Affectionate ones who can scare me a bit during play without crossing boundaries or making me question whether I’m safe. This contrast piques and holds my interest. A few days with a man like that and I have to consciously stop myself from blabbing about him like a lovesick teenager. “Omg, he’s amaaaaaaazing.”

Spanking leads to adventures.

My play partner and I went on a whole trip to the woods just so we could spank in the snow. We had so much fun AND picked up new implements while antiquing along the way. Spankos never run out of creative ways to enjoy our favorite activity together, whether that’s at home, at a cabin, out in nature, or in a car. So many places to spank, so many stories to tell.  

Spanking teaches me things.

Navigating my fetish has taught me more about myself and the world than any other aspect of my life. I’ve learned what my boundaries are and how to handle them. I know what red flags look like and what I need to feel safe with someone. I’ve gotten practice communicating my deepest feelings and desires, even when it scared the shit out of me. I’ve learned about the power of trust, vulnerability, and how sensitive our souls can be when we’re behind closed doors together. I’ve learned what intrigues me most about the minds of other people and the sublime experiences we can share when our energies click just right. I look forward to learning whatever else my fetish has to teach me.  

Spanking is adorable.

My fluffy bunny spanko friends and I love walking around with our bottoms painted pink. I think that’s fucking cute and will never get over it.

Do you love getting spanked too? What reasons comprise your 'why'?

-T