In this day and age, it’s both undeniable and inescapable: this world is fully insane. The constant noise, gaslighting, advertising, war mongering, propaganda, and horrific news are all part and parcel of living in this allegedly “advanced” global society. We’re trapped in a cuckoo clock together, friends, and this is no accident. The evil psychopaths in charge of our oligarchical kakistocracy like it this way and plan to do further damage.  

"Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven."

—Satan, Paradise Lost, cited by Jeffery Epstein in a 2019 email

Fuckin’ yikes. To remain somewhat sane in an insane world, we must engage in practices that keep our souls grounded in reality and the more sensible aspects of our natural human essence. One of my favorite and most effective paths to this spiritual state is (you guessed it) kinky spanking between benevolent, consenting adults.

Here are 12 ways spanking grounds us when it’s all a bit too much.

1. Spanking puts our focus on the present moment.

The powers that be addict us to the media through fear. They want us anxious about the future, depressed over what’s gone wrong in the past, and ruminating on all the possibilities of terrible things that could occur. This is a fast path to misery and overwhelm, but the good news is: these ghosts rarely exist with us in the present moment. 

Spanking yanks our attention into the now and keeps it there. It’s difficult for the mind to wander too far when you’re exposed over a knee, getting your bunzies smacked repeatedly while squirming in pain. Spankers, likewise, must focus on delivering this experience responsibly, entranced by the delicious cake splayed on a platter before them. To keep one’s awareness in the present moment is one of the main aims of meditation, for it allows our buzzing brainwaves to relax their frequency and puts power back in the hands of the prefrontal cortex. 

2. Spanking reminds us of our personal power.

We’re conditioned to feel helpless, caught in a victimized mindset, as if we have no influence over the state of the world. This isn’t true, however. We’re deeply powerful beings, luminous and brimming with sacred lifeforce. Everywhere we go, energy radiates outward from within us. Our words fill the air and remain in the minds of those who resonate with them. A single choice of inflection can change countless lives forever.

Captive-born animals are likely to remain inside their cages, even after they’re offered freedom, viewing their tiny prisons as bastions of safety. This is an illusion—one we humans can work to avoid falling prey to. The consensual power exchange of spanking reminds us of the true choices available to us. We experience agonizing pain during sessions. It can feel at times as if we lack a means of alleviating our suffering, but peace is only a safeword away. All we must do is assert ourselves, as is the case in many unpleasant situations we find ourselves in. We have the ability to make change.

3. Spanking connects us intimately, human to human.

We’re lonelier than ever. I’m sure this isn’t news to you. We sit in rooms with others as they scroll on their doom boxes, dwelling in their belief spheres as we dwell in ours. We yearn for mental resonance—to have our thoughts and emotions mirrored harmoniously. This meeting of minds is hard to come by these days, for we are distracted by all the shiny objects dangling before our consciousness.     

Kinky spankings unite us closely with our fellow humans, especially during private one-on-one sessions. Our minds come together and zero in on each passing moment of the act as it unfolds. The choices of the spanker and reactions of the spankee blend into a dance that puts our most telling of aspects (the way we wield and respond to shows of power) on display.

4. Spanking exercises our empathy muscles. 

Empathy is described as the ability to deeply understand and share another person's feelings and perspective, essentially "feeling with" them by putting ourselves in their shoes. Our species is dangerously low on this feature; the isolation instigated by the internet, in combination with the dopamine-fuelled narcissism fed by social media, have rendered us a selfish society that’s largely indifferent to the suffering of its citizens.

Without empathy, spanking relationships are fragile and unsustainable. The spanker must focus on the limits and desires of their partner, careful not to cause trauma or cross major lines. The spankee must respect the efforts and energy of their partner in return, for tops are human beings, not mindless fantasy dispensers. This care and sensitivity to one another’s feelings keeps us from morphing into heartless monsters like our evil overlords, ensuring we’ll never be spiritually alone in all the ways they are.

5. Spanking keeps us humble. 

A lack of humility is distinctly harmful. While we must understand and appreciate our own inherent value in order to achieve mental wellness, we must also stay mindful of the equivalent value of others. Those who hold an outsized view of their own importance end up exploiting and wounding those they see as below them. The world does not need more of this. 

Spanking keeps both participants in the equation humble. A spankee who gets too big for their britches is sure to incur red-bottomed consequences far sooner than later. A spanker who thinks it’s all about them is sure to end up sad and alone, for they will fail to satisfy their spankee’s desires. It’s a give-and-take that requires a degree of modesty.

6. Spanking relationships require us to take healthy risks. 

Risk-taking is necessary for a balanced, stable life. It’s easy to march to the beat of other people’s drums, riding through this entire human experience in the passenger seat. The string-pullers of society adore populations that always play it safe, for they are easily controlled and don’t learn to think for themselves. 

We must take risks to make our spanko fantasies a reality. The sole act of admitting we like this sexy thing is, in itself, an act of audacious courage. To seek and find the right partner, then play our hearts out in spite of all our fears, leads to massive benefits that add to our well-being. This entire process helps us achieve emotional stability and brings balance to our lives. 

7. Spanking gives us practice dealing with pain head-on.

When we have trouble processing the chaotic nature of the world from day to day, we’re likely to reach for coping mechanisms or deeply immerse ourselves in fantasies that prevent us from experiencing the pain of our feelings in full. This can help us in the short term, but lead to avoidant behavior over time. Avoidance never solves problems; rather, it causes them to fester, intensify, and potentially spiral out of control. 

Most spankees I know are able to see and examine their problems. We may not solve them right away, but we can tolerate the fact that they exist. We’re not so terrified of pain that we must keep it at arm’s length, hiding from ourselves through denial. This helps us practice dealing with the unpleasantries of reality’s madness. 

8. Spanking shows us what we’re made of. 

Tyler Durden from Fight Club once asked, "How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?" In the midst of societal implosion, this is a relevant question. We simmer in rage as we watch psychopaths do terrible things, but have little experience experimenting with how we would react if push came to shove. Some get carried away by their delusions of grandeur. 

Spanking sessions show us how we’re liable to behave in more primitive situations, especially if the spankee is a squirmy fighter like me. I have realistic expectations about how I can handle myself. I’ll put up a fight and tire out my opponent, but will have to rely more on brain than brawn if the demons ever decide to show up at my house. 

9. Spanking gets us in touch with our body.

Fear and chaos have a way of getting us stuck in our own heads, mentalizing endlessly. This detaches us from reality, for although we are spiritual beings, this life is a human experience and our bodies are what ground us in the world. To remain dissociated prevents us from immersing ourselves fully in the adventure that comes with engaging with our senses. 

To be a spanko, one must be in touch with their body. During sessions, spankers get a sense of their skills related to strength and coordination. Spankees witness how our bodies experience pain and heal from bruising or exhaustion. It’s a physical activity rooted in our sense of touch and sensation. 

10. Spanking keeps us focused on our goals.

It’s easy to get distracted and thrown off course from our life’s purpose with all the bullshit happening in the world. We humans were not designed to have access to this much information and aren’t equipped to handle it. Constant updates, alerts, emails, and messages get in the ways of what we’re here to accomplish during our time on earth. 

Discipline-focused spanking keeps us in touch with the goals we create for ourselves. When spankers act as accountability partners, we spankees keep our minds on our checklists and promises, lest we get lost in the sauce. Time moves quickly and we must avoid falling prey to this terrible habit. Blink and it’s gone. Chase those goals!

Thank goodness for this magical obsession of ours. Without it, I would be frazzled and despondent, tearing my hair out while lounging on a pier with the sea lions. But the demons won’t drive me mad, no sir, for spanking is one of many walls I’ve built around this House of Zen. May it also bring you peace and favour from the universe. 

-T