Anyone can haphazardly smack a butt with flailing limbs, but that is NOT a spanking. Contrary to popular belief, we kinky spankees seek a particular kind of experience—an enjoyable one, in the meta sense, with practiced spankers who know what they’re doing.

Below, I’ve listed 15 techniques that set experienced spankers apart from the tourists. Heed these tips, my kinky chum!

1. Provide a warm-up unless you’re sure the spankee is fine without one. 

It’s pretty rude, in my view, to ASSume someone is fine with being spanked hard and fast right out the gate. It takes several minutes for the brain to flood the body with the feel-good endorphins spanking generates in response to pain. If your spankee specifically wants punishment and is fine to skip the warm-up, groovy. Go ham! Otherwise, it’s best to start out moderately so their nervous system can acclimate to the pain. You don’t want them panicking, freezing up in order to cope, or emotionally crashing out after you’re done.  

2. Spank the lower fleshy bits, not the tops of the cheeks. 

Getting spanked over bony areas doesn’t feel sexy or good. It’s outright dangerous to spank too high; you can do real damage to the kidneys, spine, and tailbone. Always aim for the chunky parts of the lower cheeks and upper thighs. That’s where the delicious, most sensitive nerve endings live anyway. Smack that sacred padding ‘til it’s a rabid shade of pink. 

3. With implements that span the whole ass, be sure they hit both cheeks.

Long paddles, canes, and other implements that reach across the span of a full bottom can pack a punch, but only if you’re making proper impact on both cheeks. Swing at an angle and you’ll likely be smacking one side harder than the other, or missing one altogether, which can feel unpleasant when it happens repeatedly. Aim for flat impact that lands squarely on both buns. 

4. Focus mainly on the sit spots. 

The sit spots are the fleshiest areas of the lower cheeks, right where the bottom makes contact with the surfaces we sit upon. If you want to deliver a spanking they’ll feel every time they take a seat, focus the majority of your attention there. This move is ideal if your spankee loves painful reminders of sessions long after they’re done. 

5. Don’t let flexible implements wrap around the hips. 

I’m still upping my game in this area as a spanker. Flexible implements—usually those made of leather, like belts and straps—can wrap around your spankee’s hip and bite their side if you’re not careful with your aim. (They’re not likely to appreciate this.) You can avoid it by aiming the end of your implement at the center of the cheek furthest from you, ensuring it doesn’t go past their chunky sit spot. Take a couple light test swings before swishing with force. 

6. Flick your wrist for extra oomph. 

A subtle flick of the wrist can help you land a smarting smack far better than swinging the full length of your arm. Let your hand fly somewhat loosely, undulating into alignment with your forearm right as you make impact. You’ll know you're doing it right if the sound of your spanks rings through the air.

7. Include the upper thighs, but don’t make them your focus.

Thigh swats are incredibly painful, adding a nice ouchy spice to a bottom-focused regimen. Making them your main target, however, is quite mean and uncalled for unless you’re actively trying to be a dique. Use these powerful smacks sparingly. 

8. Take breaks to rub the booty.

If you like playing for longer stretches of time (more than a few minutes), pause between strings of swats to show the bottom kindness. Rub, squeeze, hug, massage, pinch, lightly scratch, and cherish it. Allow your spankee to calm down, catch their breath, and unclench those glutes. They will be ready to continue soon enough.   

9. Position your spankee strategically.

The position of a spankee greatly influences how a spanking will feel. The most comfortable option is to have them lie flat on a bed or sofa. Having them over your lap, with you sitting in a chair, feels traditional but can put an uncomfortable amount of pressure on the spankee’s stomach after five or ten minutes. Having your spankee straddle one of your thighs forces their legs open, which adds a huge degree of embarrassment. Bending them over one thigh keeps your other leg free to lock their legs once they start squirming. Get creative! 

10. Be ready when their hand flies back.

If your spankee is anything like me, they’ll reach back at some point to protect their tortured cheeks when the pain gets too intense. As the spanker, you’ve got to be ready to pause when this happens, as accidentally smacking their fingers can lead to injuries. If they’re stubborn and refuse to move their hands, you can use your non-spanking hand to grab their wrist and pull it out of the way. You can also hold their hand and if you wanna be cute and comforting about it. 

11. Keep your hand relaxed as you spank. 

As the spanker, stiffening your hand so it stays flat can result in dull swats and soreness in your wrist over time. Instead, relax your hand. Let your arm muscles, gravity, and a slight flick of the wrist do most of the work for you. You might even experiment with cupping your hand slightly to mimic the curve of the bottom. See what feels best for you. 

12. Smoosh the cheeks together. 

This may not be a common technique, but it’s one I enjoy. With your non-spanking hand, smoosh your spankee’s cheeks together. Then you can spank with your hand or implement over their crack, giving the feeling of spanking their most sensitive spots without actually doing so. Not sure why it’s so fun, but it is!

13. Pull the cheeks apart.

Spreading the cheeks gives you access to the most sensitive inner areas—an important move for spankers looking to cover as much real estate as possible with glowing pinkness. You can even consider applying swats to your spankee’s hidey hole. In a recent poll conducted on FetLife by ATP Studios, 42% of 145 spankees indicated the butthole was their favorite place to be punished aside from the cheeks. 

This one’s very embarrassing and not all spankees will be up for it. The more intimate your connection, the more likely it is that they’ll be up for some backdoor smacks. 

14. Vary the speed and intensity of your swats.

Variety is the spice of life. Rather than applying smacks at a uniform speed, experiment with starting off slowly, then gradually ramping up to rapid strings of swats, then slowing down again, alternating as you go. Instead of spanking hard all the way through your session, incorporate different levels of pressure. Soft, then hard, then soft, then hard. This will give your spankee moments of respite and keep them on their toes. 

15. Vary the materials and textures of your implements.

Why stick exclusively with leather when you can incorporate wood, lexan, rattan, or French ivory? The material of each implement delivers its own sensation and as a spankee, I can say they all make unique impressions—some more painful than others! Texture matters as well. A smooth, flat-backed hairbrush is much easier on the bottom than one with grooves carved into it. I recommend amassing a diverse collection you can cycle through with pride.

Which of these techniques do you already use, spankers, and which are new to you? 

-T