How to Create Anticipation Before Spankings (Subscribers Only)

"Woman Waiting for First Beat," by Russian artist Andrew Wolkoff

Most spanking fetishists I know adore every stage of the process, including the lead-up to our smacky sessions. Knowing a spanking will happen in advance can make it scarier and more exciting for the receiver. Below are 22 tips spankers can use to create anticipation before doling out justice. 

1. Make crystal clear rules for your spankee to follow.

Having clear rules for your spankee gives them the choice of whether or not to behave. If you tell them, “No screens after 9 p.m.” and they decide to go online anyway, they’re effectively deciding they would like to be spanked, or at least willing to risk it. This can trigger apprehension within them before you’ve even figured out they broke your rule.  

2. Check on whether the rules have been followed. 

A good disciplinarian checks in often to see whether their spankee is still on track. “What time did you get to bed last night?” The moment you ask whether they’ve followed the rule in question, they’ll be imagining the consequences of failing to do so. Keep them in fear of your steady observation skills.

3. Announce that a spanking is coming. 

Once you’ve determined a punishable transgression has been committed, tell your spankee their comeuppance will be delivered—and on their bare bottom, to boot. That’s a rather embarrassing thing to hear as an adult and eliminates all suspense over what’s to come. They’ll be teeming with anxiousness. 

4. Threaten to spank frequently. 

It’s a good call to threaten your partner with spankings even when they’re behaving well and following all your rules. You can’t have them forgetting the potential consequences of wayward shenanigans, lest they start slacking off and committing copious sins. Regularly scheduled threats remind them there’s always a spanking awaiting them somewhere in the future, keeping them on their toes perpetually. 

5. Schedule a specific time for the spanking. 

If OTK is on the agenda, you can heighten your spankee’s nervousness and excitement by choosing a specific time to carry out your session. Perhaps you’ll be spanking them right before bedtime, after they get home from work, or before you both leave for church. Letting them know the hour of justice in advance will have them envisioning how it will unfold until that moment arrives.  

6. Give them homework before the spanking.

Homework can be assigned prior to the spanking as an additional form of punishment. (Whether or not they complete it can also greatly inform how hard or long you spank them.) Have them write lines or an essay about why their behavior was bad. Have them do chores, like cleaning up their room, to teach them the value of an organized living space. They’ll be thinking about the real punishment that’s scheduled to come next as they complete the assignment. 

7. Take them somewhere for the spanking. 

The setting of a spanking can greatly influence its power. Consider bringing your partner somewhere special where they can kick and whine. A woodshed, perhaps, or an iconic scary cabin in the mountains. You could even bring them to the beach and find a cove where you can pull down their bikini away from the eyes of sunbathers. If all else fails, have them hop in the car and drive them to a remote parking lot where there’s no chance of escape. Every moment en route to your destination will rile up the butterflies in their belly. 

8. Touch and talk about their butt. 

While you’re waiting in line for ice cream out in public on a date, give your spankee’s bottom a pinch and draw attention to its future. Talk about how sore their cheeks will be and how much trouble they’ll have sitting comfortably over the days to come. Giddy nervousness is likely to ensue.  

9. Set a chair in the middle of the room.

Imagine your spankee comes home to a single straight-backed chair set in the middle of the living room. No explanation is needed; spankees implicitly know what that symbolism means and few sights could be more startling. They know at some point, you'll be sitting in that chair with them draped over your lap, bare buns skyward. The thought won’t leave their mind until it becomes a reality. 

10. Lay out scary implements for them to find. 

You can also set out the weapons you intend to use on their bottom, like a belt or hairbrush, in conspicuous locations. The kitchen counter is a marvelous choice, or the coffee table where the TV remote lives. They’ll sit on the sofa after a hard day, reach for the remote to turn on their favourite program, and feel their heart pound as they spot your implements of choice. 

11. Talk about the implements you’ll use. 

“You’re betting the bath brush when we get home.” That’s a terrifying sentence! Regardless of which weapons you elect to use in your next session, revealing those choices to your spankee will have them imagining just how harsh it will be. Informing them you’ll be making use of their least favorite implement, like a cane or belt, will strike extra fear into their naughty heart.

12. Give them “the look.”

You know the one I mean. 

13. Call them by their pet names and titles.

If you use titles with your spankee, like “young lady/man” or “bad girl/boy,” you can pull these out in advance to get them in a subby headspace. They’ll hear those familiar labels and know you mean business; you’re in the mood to spank and they should be on their Ps and Qs. After that, they’ll either be quaking in their boots or egging you on like a shameless brat testing your mettle.  

14. Make them porky pig. 

In my last post, I explained the workings of the Enforced Porky Pig, a disciplinary tool that denies the spankee their right to below-the-waist clothing. Remove your partner’s lower layers one at a time while explaining they must henceforth be bare-bottomed in your presence (behind closed doors, at least). The implication of this rule will instantly be clear; spankings are far more easily delivered with pesky clothes out of the way. 

15. Stand them in the corner beforehand.

Spankers tend to stand their partner in the corner after spankings, but you can do so beforehand as well. Have them face the wall and think about what they’ve done, as well as what’s to come. As they seconds tick by and their punishment approaches, they’ll lose the ability to think about anything but their impending destiny.  

16. Lecture them forever and ever. 

A long lecture before a spanking will make your spankee feel the discipline has already started. They’ll feel the sting of your painful admonishment while thinking about the sting to their bottom that's on its way. Fear will build within them until you pull them over your knee while they panic in a frenzy. 

17. Make them wear spanko attire. 

Having your spankee wear clothing that’s fitting of our fetish is a great way to get them focused on their upcoming punishment. Get them to don some drop-seat PJs, white cotton panties, a schoolgirl skirt, a pair of bloomers, lacy lingerie, or whatever makes them feel naughtiest. Few things are more exciting than getting spanked in spanko attire. 

18. Blindfold them.

Taking away your spankee’s sense of sight will put them on high alert. Tie a blindfold over their eyes while you prepare for your session, forcing them to listen closely so they can picture what you’re up to. All sorts of visions will race through their head. What kind of implements are you grabbing? What furniture will be involved? Every second that ticks by will notch up their nervousness. 

19. Restrain them. 

Whether your spankee is especially squirmy or you simply enjoy bondage, restraining them before you spank is a great way to create feelings of foreboding. This is especially fun if you know shibari, as it takes time and close contact to tie them securely. By the time they’re properly immobilized, they’ll be buzzing anxiously and you’ll be ready to warm their bare buns.  

20. Make them tell you why their behavior was wrong. 

Having to explain to a spanker what you did wrong, why you did it, and why it was wrong is exceedingly uncomfortable. We adults are supposed to behave responsibly, without anyone telling us to do so, and admitting we did wrong is far worse than being told we fucked up. Make your spankee lay their thinking out for you before you roast their rump. 

21. Send them photos, videos, or stories about spankings. 

Sharing spanking-related content with your partner will get them thinking about the next time you spank them. They’ll imagine themselves as the receiver in the story and hopefully feel a bit tingly about it, if not highly aroused. You may find them itching to climb over your lap after they've built the scene up in their mind. They will want to be next.

22. Make them wait. 

It’s quite simple. All you have to do is play it cool and take your time. There’s no need to burst into their home wielding a paddle, ready to redden those quivering cheeks. Far better, in my opinion, to saunter in casually, as if none of this scary/sexy stuff is a big deal at all. “Spankings? Why of course. We’ll get to that in due time.” You might not be sweating over it, but your spankee sure will be.

Try these tips to get your play partners on edge, right where you want them to be, and let me know which end up working best for you. 

-T