Dictionary Spankos

I used to do a weird thing as a kid, both in public and private locations. It was something I was sure no one else ever did and if anyone found out, they’d definitely think I was nuts. The thought of getting caught mortified me, for I held an embarrassing secret about a hidden fascination. If you’re reading this, you’ve already guessed my covert ritual: I looked up the word ‘spank’ in the dictionary, over and over and over again. 

When I got older and found other spankos online, I discovered I wasn’t alone. Many of us did this as a kid, and not just here in my sparkly home state of California. This was a worldwide phenomenon, odd as that may seem. These days, some refer to themselves as “dictionary spankos” to signal they’ve been wired with this fetish since childhood. Allow me to explain this rather particular experience.

How It Went

I remember it well. I’d be at the library, in a classroom, or even at home and spot a dictionary. I’d look right, left, and behind me, ensuring no one was close by or watching what I was up to. Striving to act casual, I’d grab the book and flip through the pages to the S— section… then the SP— section… then the SPA— section… until I landed on THAT WORD. Once I’d found my buried treasure, I would read the definition and picture it playing out in my mind. 

spank \spæŋk\ : to strike esp. on the buttocks with the open hand

Or,

spank \spæŋk\ : to hit (someone) on the buttocks with your hand as a form of punishment

Or,

spank \spæŋk\ : to beat, smack or slap a person's buttocks, with the bare hand or other object, as punishment, or for sexual gratification

Or,

spank \spæŋk\ : to hit a child with the hand, usually several times on the bottom as a punishment; to hit an adult on the bottom in order to get or give sexual pleasure

Notice how those last two sources include the sexual, adult version of the act. Such a scandal! I assure you, none of the dictionaries I flipped through as a kid included those versions. A true piece of educational progression beaming before our eyes, that is.  

There Were Other Words Too

‘Spank’ was just the beginning. I looked up ‘whip’, ‘paddle’, ‘cane’, ‘flog’, ‘discipline’, ‘belt’, ‘naughty’, and every other word related to my fantasies surrounding corporal punishment. There were so many ways to strike the bare buttocks of troublemaking hellions, I could hardly wrap my mind around it.

I’ve often wondered whether people my age with other fetishes did this as kids. Did foot fetishists look up ‘feet’, ‘socks’, ‘boots’, ‘high heels’, or ‘nail polish’ in dictionaries? If you know the answer, do enlighten me, eh.

Eternal Fascination

When I got a bit older, the internet became available to us normies and I looked ‘spank’ up online too, even when I knew there was real porn to look at. I had no conscious goal. No end game. I didn’t look those words up to masturbate to afterward, for I had filthier head spaces set aside to conjure those feelings. I just found it all so endlessly interesting. I couldn’t believe real people did those things or fathom why corporal punishment was such a widespread practice. All over the world, throughout all of history, people smacked bare bottoms in creative and terrible ways. Picturing it gave me a secret, nervous thrill. 

I don’t look those words up anymore, perhaps because spanking has become less taboo in my mind. I don’t think young’uns do it these days either, as printed dictionaries have largely gone digital, floating in a sea of online content overflowing with overtly kinky words and imagery. Kids are unfortunately exposed to far more than we 80s starchildren were at that age and I can’t imagine inked definitions on a thin white page would intrigue them.

Nonetheless, the dictionary thing blows my mind to this day. It’s not as if any of us tiny spankos met up on the playground for a meeting to agree upon this activity. It’s simply an evolutionary spanko adaptation. A vintage childhood ritual for a spanko time capsule, which I’ve captured here for you and posterity.

-T