The word 'fuckboy' is a modern term that describes a timeless cultural phenomenon. If you’re unclear on its meaning, this article does a good job of breaking it down. It summarizes their shtick thusly:

1. Fuckboys do or say anything (i.e., lie) to have sex.

2. Simultaneously, they do the bare minimum to have sex.

3. They keep women “around.”

4. They're fragile.

5. They're selfish.

We have quite a lot of fuckboys and other predatory types plaguing the kink community. When they hear about hanky-spanky ladies like me, they assume all sorts of silly shit that ends up getting them into trouble with others. Here, in particular, are 5 common myths fuckboys believe about us lady spankees:

1. They think we're all easy.

“Go for the kinky chicks, bro. They’ll let you hit it without a fuss.” This is rarely true, in my experience. A woman with a spanking fetish often requires far more effort than fuckboys are capable of making. Safety and consent are paramount in our community due to the risky nature of power exchange. This means anyone who wants to play must demonstrate thoughtfulness, consideration, honesty, maturity, and a thorough understanding of how to respect boundaries. Those who can’t handle this have trouble making and maintaining connections. We spankos vet, sometimes for weeks or even longer. Showing up and shouting, “MY DICK, MY DICK!” is a weird thing to do in this circumstance (and most others). Far better to build trust gradually through respectful and engaging conversation.

2. They think we’re all submissive. 

Submissive types are looking to conform to the authority or will of others. They like to follow directions and allow their spankers to lead the dynamic. Not all of us spankees are into this or wish to adopt the label. Many of us are submissive to a degree, but some of us are also bratty and like to fight back. Some of us simply like how spanking makes us feel and aren’t interested in giving up control. The concept of “dominance” means different things to different people. I don’t personally call myself submissive anymore because it makes fuckboys come out the woodwork thinking they’re in charge and hoo boy, that is not the case.

3. They think we have no limits.

Women into spanking want a particular type of experience and few, if any, of us are “down for whatever.” To assume a spanking fetishist is also up for things like spitting, choking, face slapping, or anal is a fuckboy faux pas. In reality, many of us have oodles of specific limits and strong reasons for adhering to them. Fuckboys who approach spankees to live out all their porn-based fantasies are in for a reckoning.  

4. They think we’re all constantly sexual. 

Fuckboys seem to imagine women jonesing for a spanking are also jonesing for dick 24/7. I’ve found that many of us, while certainly horny, have strict stipulations for when sex is on the table. Some keep sexual activity and playtime separate unless there’s a romantic relationship involved. Some are asexual altogether and derive satisfaction solely through smacky-smacky fun and/or discipline-focused endeavors. The point is that spanking fetishists like spanking for the sake of it. It’s the main course, not the appetizer. Don’t assume you’ll be slapping my ass once or twice before sex and calling that a spanking, silly fuckboy. 

5. They think we want to be used and abused. 

Lol, we do not. Generally speaking, we want to be impressed, delighted, and attended to. We want to be transported to our desired physical and emotional state safely and thrillingly. We want intimacy and connection. We want SO MUCH consent on the table that we’re able to mentally relax and enjoy the experience, not worry some meathead fuckboy is about to cross our boundaries. Abuse tears people apart. The Fine and Illustrious Art of Spanking, carried out with manners and consideration, brings great people together. 

To the fuckboys: we’re not the droids you’re looking for. Your eternal quest for the effortless free-for-all you seek continues.

-T